My Child is Autistic, Now What?

Breathe

When you first hear the words, “Your child is autistic,” it can be overwhelming. Questions, emotions, and uncertainties often flood in all at once. What does this mean for my child, for our family, and for the future we envisioned? This moment is a starting point—a place where we can pause, reflect, and begin to embrace a new journey.

Grieve and Embrace

It’s natural to feel a sense of grief for the child and family you imagined. Let yourself experience these feelings without guilt. Acknowledge them as part of the process of accepting, loving, and supporting the incredible child and family you do have.

Remember, both versions of your child—the one you dreamed of and the one you are now getting to know—deserve your love, support, and even a little silliness. They are the same child, and they are uniquely amazing just as they are.

Educate and Research

As you begin to process, take time to educate yourself. Autism is a journey of continual learning. Research how autistic children develop, process language, and communicate. Learn about various therapies, strategies, programs, and supports.

Understand that no two children are alike, and neither are their needs. Supports are not “one size fits all,” so take the time to explore what works best for your child. Vet therapists, educators, advocates, and programs carefully. Ask yourself: do they align with your family’s values and goals? And remember, it’s okay to say, “This isn’t a good fit.”

For those of you in New York, consider applying for OPWDD (Office for People with Developmental Disabilities). OPWDD provides access to financial, community, and vocational support. The process can feel daunting, but stay consistent and persistent—it’s worth it. Join the Autism Society (https://autismsociety.org/) or other organizations in your area. For those in other states, research organizations that fund family support services. These services can help with at-home care and employment supports such as job coaching or vocational training.

Prioritize Self-Care

This journey is not only about your child; it’s about your whole family—and that includes you. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so make self-care a priority. It might look like a walk in nature, a virtual book club, a hot shower, or a much-needed nap. Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate; it just needs to fill your cup.

Build Community

Lastly, find your people. Autism can feel isolating at times, but you’re not alone. Join parent and family support groups, whether in-person or virtual. Consider becoming a part of your school district’s SEPTA (Special Education Parent Teacher Association). Connecting with other families who understand your journey can provide a sense of belonging, camaraderie, and invaluable advice.

Community is a lifeline—not just for you, but for your entire family. Sharing experiences, laughing together, and navigating the ups and downs of the autism journey with others will help you and your child thrive.

Remember, This Is a Marathon Not a Sprint

There is no roadmap, no finish line—just steps forward, one at a time. It’s a journey filled with learning, connection, and growth. Take it one day at a time, celebrate the victories (big and small), and know that you are not alone. You are part of a beautiful, supportive community.

If you ever need guidance or resources, don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we can learn, grow, and support one another along the way.

🫶🏼♾️